Truth Moment: Not Settling Is Hard

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Everyone preaches about the importance of not settling, but very few talk about what that looks like. We often look down on people for settling in their relationships and careers, but we overlook the fact that not settling is hard af. Some people settle because they aren't confident they can have more in life, some can't think beyond their current situation and others just don't want to put in the work. No matter the reason, there is more to refusing to settle in life than just being told not to do so.

To be honest, settling is easy and going after your dreams is tough. No matter what your dreams are you are going to encounter unforeseen obstacles. These obstacles will sometimes feel never ending and take a lot out of you physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. In these moments settling doesn't look like settling at all. It will look like a logical much needed break. In these moments of frustration and exhaustion you will have to REMEMBER YOUR WHY. Recall why your dreams are important to you. Although giants will rise, they will also fall and your dreams will be waiting on the other side. 

Not settling also requires patience and A LOT of it. For example, it's nothing wrong with wanting your dream guy, but you might have to wait on him. I know you get tired of hearing "just be patient and the right guy will come along" especially when you've been waiting for what feels like forever. Waiting isn't fun when you FEEL like you know that you know that you're ready. But guess what's worst than waiting? RUSHING. In rushing, you will find yourself having to go through self induced trials. Instead of getting closer to your dreams you might end up further away from it. Keep in mind what you want in the long run. It'll be worth the wait no matter how long the wait might be.

Settling isn't always easily identifiable. Sometimes at first glance the offer/person seems great, but only after digging deeper will you will realize that you deserve more. This is what we call "fools gold". This could be the job that offer that seems amazing, but really it's taking you away from your calling. Or maybe it's the guy who is a great, but you're not compatible with. It's hard to say "no" when in a situation that seems so close to what you desire but the real thing is out there. I find this form of settling tough. You have to know when you're making a mature decision to compromise and when you're settling. You also have to be secure within your decision. When I'm in these situation I pray heavily, seek advice from trusted friends/family and I make a pros/cons list. These things help me see if I am being understanding that everything won't be perfect or if I'm betraying myself values.

Not settling takes mental strength. It's a daily choice. To be honest if not settling was easy you'd see a lot more people living in their purpose. Not settling calls for us to become intimate with ourselves to identify what we are not willing to accept. Then we must constantly remind ourselves of those things so we won't slip into a settling situation. When I prayed to be a person that lives within my purpose, I imagined having a fulfilling career, an amazing family and making a huge impact. I didn't think of all the challenges I'd have to face to get there. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever reach my goals and I consider taking the easy way out. But I owe it to not only myself, but to the world to not settle. In not settling I know I will inspire others to do the same. And wouldn't the world be a better place if we all bet on ourselves more and lived within our purpose?