How Fear Of Failure Can Stop You From Living


People tend to have this desire to control things in their lives; especially relationships. More specifically after a heart-break. When someone gets hurt in a relationship they don’t want to experience that pain again, so they do one of two things:

               1.      They lock themselves up into an antisocial abyss

               2.      They try to control every aspect of their next potential relationship.

Neither of these decisions are helpful. Locking yourself up doesn’t allow for you to express yourself or feel love from potential mates. You keep feelings to yourself and give your mate nothing to reassure them that you care; thus, making them feel inadequate. When your budding relationship falls through (because it will fall through {no relationship will work if both parties aren’t putting in the same amount of effort}) then you feel worse because you know there was so much more that you could have done to possibly make things work. You’re self-sabotaging when you interact in relationships like that. Being overly controlling doesn’t present you with a better outcome.

I think overly controlling people become fixed on a title. Titles allow you to feel a certain way or act a certain way rather than just naturally operating in your truth. Instead of saying “I like this person and want to be exclusive” you look at what phase or category you’re in to see if its okay to have these natural feelings. You end up destroying your sense of emotional expression that way. Then when things go south you're left to wonder where things went wrong. Did you act the way you were supposed to based on the title given or did you do too much? In either aspect you’re left focusing on things left unsaid and battle with the desire to redo a plethora of things. The best way to move forward is to live a life without fear of failure.

Failure is something that everyone faces, and many conquer. You must allow yourself to live past your failures. The greatest business men and women do it every day. They don’t let a 1.5-million-dollar investment that tanked keep them from investing another 1.5 million in a new company, or the same company with a revised plan. Don’t short change yourself by letting fear dictate your life. The greatest thing to do is to live and experience life and allow life to mold you into the best version of yourself. Failure is a part of life; don’t get embarrassed when it happens. When you fall short of a goal you should stay on the ground for a bit and figure out why you fell. Learn the lesson the first time so that when you stand up you will know what/who to avoid and how to better communicate. Too many times we fall and are embarrassed about the fall, so we try to get up right away. This is a recipe for disaster because you fail to learn the lesson from your fall. Getting up too quickly guarantees that you’re going to fall again. You should try; fail; learn; adjust; and try again.

That’s the essence of life; don’t be so afraid of failing that you lock yourself up and don’t allow yourself to live. You only have your life to live so you need to make the best of it.