Young and Married or Single ? How Do I Live My 20s ?
There has been an ongoing debate on my Facebook feed about what doing your 20s the right way looks like. I've read tons of rants about how singles should stop hoeing around or how lonely we are. I've seen posts of young parents claiming the only reason why some of us don't have children is due to an abortion or being too ugly. I've also read post from singles claiming that getting married or having a child is like kick balling your freedom out of the window.
If you allow social media to suck you in, you might be confused as to which path you ought to be on. One moment you're scrolling and you see a beautiful couple has just gotten engaged. You're looking at her shinny ring and her fine soon to be husband and wondering why you haven't/didn't find one for yourself in college. Another moment you see a fabulous single travelling the world and getting paid good money to do what she loves. Then you get motivated to chase after your own dreams and do the same.
Everyone's path looks different and is customized to fit their destiny. Sometimes I do wonder why cupid hasn't shot me yet, but I am reminded there are some things that I might be better off accomplishing before I become a wife and mother. Being single allows me to be able to fully focus on bringing my dreams to life. I don't doubt that married people can do some of the same things that singles can, but you have to consult someone. Even the most understanding of spouses might not be in a position to agree to move the family just because you woke up with the urge to do so. I've spent my whole life having to consult someone and as a result I've missed out on a lot. I want to be secure in who I am as a whole person, before submitting to someone. As for kids, I've always wanted to have a child within a marriage and even then I prefer for him/her to be planned. Babies are a huge responsibility and I don't want to be placed in a position where I'm forced to deal with that under surprise circumstances.
There's no right or wrong path to live your 20s. Some of us still live at home with our parents. Some are still in school. Some are starting families. Comparing your life to others is a dangerous game. When I find myself starting to compare I think of my life as a story. When I don't have something the next person does I just remind myself that, that's just not how my story was meant to unfold, but that doesn't mean it won't be just as good. It's all about timing. A person getting married at 23 might be a blessing to them, but a curse to you in your story. It's good to set goals, but don't pressure yourself too much about what you "ought" to have at a certain age. Make peace with your lane and stay on it. Once you make peace with it you won't be tempted to compare or allow others to make you feel some type of way for not living how they expect you to live. Do you boo.