What If I Want More Than A Mediocre Life?

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I read a blog post titled What if All I Want is a Mediocre Life? by Krista O'Reilly Davi-Digui. It was a beautiful article in which Krista expressed that she's okay with enjoying a life full of simple things, instead of joining the rat race of always trying to get ahead.

       "What if I never really amount to anything when I grow up—beyond mom and sister and wife?"

Krista's words inspired me, not only because it got me to thinking that maybe I should use my platform for a place to display my own vulnerability, but because it also made me question my life. What if I want more than a mediocre life? I hate to use the term "mediocre", because who's to say what mediocre is? Anyway, I love my vivid dreaming and excitement for my future, but sometimes I wonder if I was asking for too much. Am I wrong because although like Krista, I do see the importance in being a wife, mother and friend, I don't see who I am ending just there?

Truth is, I've never desired a completely simple life. When I was a kid I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but something in me knew that it wouldn't be as simple as what Krista desires. When any one would ask I would just describe all of the makings of an entrepreneur without saying the word (because I didn't know it at the time). I come from a simple, traditional family. I always thought I was the strange one. I could tell at times that my ramblings about my dreams made a few people uncomfortable.

Although I have a PR degree, sitting in a cubicle inside of a firm isn't in my plan. I have tons of entrepreneurial ideas that light up my brain daily. Negus Graduate is just one of them and I even have ideas for expansion for it. I am constantly yearning to see my ideas brought to life. On top of that I want to be a writer of books, plays, this blog, webseries or whatever else I can get my hands on to change the black narrative. I want to work with Chance the Rapper, Issa Rae and get into the Arkansas Hall of Fame. I want to eventually get my MBA so that I can become a professor for a short period of my life and help other creatives with their dreams.

When it comes to a relationship passion is a must. I want one of those "I get what God meant we He said two shall become one" type of relationships because he's way across the room not even talking but I can feel his energy.  I want to no longer have to keep my ocean of emotions trapped inside, because it's "too much." I want a man that will appreciate that I am a multifaceted woman that is goofy, sexy, adventurous, safe, introverted, awkward and more wrapped into one. I want my husband to be more than an Average Joe, but someone who is also making a difference and inspiring others and I'll finally know what it's like to be with someone that you are proud of and admire. I want a 100% faithful relationship, because to me cheating is not the norm. 

Don't get me wrong I am appreciative of the simple things in life. It's just not everything I want in life fits on the "simple" spectrum and when I tell some people I am met not so supportive comments. "Do you really think YOU are gonna get a man like that" or "How are you going to do that when you're introverted". It makes me question if I'm dreaming too big or am I even good enough to have these desires. My friends who want simpler things in life seem to get them a lot easier and quicker. Should I see things as they do? I battle with the thought of if what I want is unreasonable and will lead me to a life of loneliness and failure. What if I'm just being high maintenance and end up missing out. On the other hand, I wonder if these are the desires that God has placed within me. Maybe God wants me to wait and strive for these things. If I do anything less the feeling of settling will eat me alive.

I've been accepting that we all have a purpose and some are more on the front in and some aren't, but they are all important in their own way. Since God wouldn't gift me to be a passionate, creative, idea-making person just to punish me for having these desires. Also I shouldn't let others standards of life make me feel bad because I might have seemingly lower or higher expectations. I shouldn't feel bad for form my own defintion of a great life when it's mine to live.  I'm working on it, because I'm looking forward to the life that God has for me and you should, to simple or not.

 

Blog, CareerBrittany Sharnez